Expectations are resentments under construction. Very interesting thought to reflect upon. Just recently I saw this manifest in my own life. I purchased some mats for the car and for 4 months they were sitting on a table in the garage. I expected my husband to unpack them and put them in the car. Four months later, I resentfully unpacked them and put them in the car. Sometimes we have to laugh at ourselves. Amusement. A more powerful approach would have been to express my desire: I want you to unpack those mats and put them in the car. Or, make a request. Would you please unpack those and put them in the car. Either one would have been more productive than the "energy leak" of expecting/resenting.
It is a rare adult client that comes into my office with the ability to dream. It has been lost.
On the other hand, who hasn't heard or read that we (adults) begin to lose our muscle tone/ muscles begin to atrophy early in the aging game. Is it in our thirties? We even hear and might know of 80 year olds who benefit from weight training to build back muscle and with it -- greater strength, flexibility, endurance and health.
Few are encouraged to build back their dreaming muscle. Quite the contrary, actually. Early in our lives most of us have been told to "be realistic" and we are even berated, yes berated, for dreaming. Perhaps you heard words like this: "Don't be foolish". "Your do you think you are". "That's not possible for people like us." "Where will you get the money?" "You can't make a living doing that." Etc.
Well, no surprise that as a life and wellness coach I urge my clients to build that muscle back. Why? For greater health, happiness, excitement, fun, joy AND possibility. I ask many to buy a notebook and begin to list their wants, desires, dreams in nor particular order and with no thought to whether the dream is realistic or not. (Note: this is hard. Almost all of my clients resist this. ) Further, the dream book can list so-called frivolous or silly dreams, small dreams/desires, and yes, medium-sized and BIG ones. All and any size is welcome. . Why is this important? First and foremost, it is important to really understand that everything that is now manifest in our material world, once was a thought.: a wish, a desire, a dream. The computer I am using right now didn't even exist 50? years ago. It was a dream, a thought. No time today to write about this incredible Quantum Universe that we are living in, but I hope that whoever reads this blog post will take my advice and begin some serious personal dream training.
"I believed at twelve, that I could be a scientist. I read a book a day. I believed I could be a writer, an actress, a professor of English in Rome, an acrobat in a purple spangled outfit. Days opened for me like the pulling apart of curtains at a play you've been dying to see. My life was like a wild, beating thing, exotic, capable of unfolding and enlarging itself, pulling itself higher and higher up like a kite loved by the wind....There in front of m, my own for the taking. And then, suddenly, lost.
Elizabeth Berg, The Pull of the Moon
For those who wish to reflect, you might ask yourself: When did I quit dreaming? What dreams do I still have that I have repressed or filed away under lock and key, fearful to voice them? Maybe even ashamed to voice them? What new dreams do I have now -- the updated version of me today? What dreams might be out there waiting for me to discover them?